Two posts ago I was feeling like a washed-up, wanna-be that was never going to make it anywhere in the crazy mixed up world that I wanted to live in. So I felt useless for two days or so, focused on my other vocation, and started feeling better. I had been told that my latest book, Broken Light, blew people's minds and that I have such an amazing thought process that I shouldn't be so hard on myself.
Today I read one of my favorite author's blog posts. She hit the nail on the head and made me feel 100% better. This is why I am an Indie Author and why I am my own boss.
"But it's something that I see in a lot of writers -- they keep looking to the outside world for verification. If they land a prestigious critique partner, it makes them more worthy. If they have an agent, they can be more confident. If they get a book deal, it's another notch. A bigger book deal, better notch. But guess what the problem with that is? Let's say your book sales tank and you are off the shelf in three months. You are absolutely destroyed, because all your worth and confidence was tied up in that."
To read Maggie Stiefvater's full post and get the complete background about how she feels as a NYT bestseller click here.
She also points out that there is a quote, and she's unsure of it's origin, but it makes me feel so good inside that I wish I could afford to write full time. I believe this is her summary of the quote: "You never learn to write books, you only learn to write the book you're currently writing."
And her personal quote which I will paint on my ceiling to see every day of my life: "I unfortunately seem to swing between THIS IS MY WORST BOOK YET and THIS IS THE BEST BOOK EVER! Back and forth. I'm a highly balanced person."
And currently, I am working on a trilogy. I have 95% of the first book's first draft completed, 20% (rough estimate) of the first draft of the second, and 5% of the first draft of the 3rd book stated. I don't want to make the mistake of not planning the whole trilogy out before leaping into publishing because then it ends up like The Vernore Gene - unsure of how to resolve all the open-ended issues.
My problem with the third book is the love triangle I've started within the first two books. I, myself, love both guys and I can't decide between them, therefore neither can my protagonist. I've made pros and cons lists, personality trait lists, and considered making polls for outsiders to choose which traits are more highly praised in a significant other. I'm leaning towards one guy in the story now, but what if I end up breaking my own heart over him?
It'll be the BEST trilogy and the WORST trilogy ever.
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