The Best and The Worst

Two posts ago I was feeling like a washed-up, wanna-be that was never going to make it anywhere in the crazy mixed up world that I wanted to live in. So I felt useless for two days or so, focused on my other vocation, and started feeling better. I had been told that my latest book, Broken Light, blew people's minds and that I have such an amazing thought process that I shouldn't be so hard on myself.

Today I read one of my favorite author's blog posts. She hit the nail on the head and made me feel 100% better. This is why I am an Indie Author and why I am my own boss.

"But it's something that I see in a lot of writers -- they keep looking to the outside world for verification. If they land a prestigious critique partner, it makes them more worthy. If they have an agent, they can be more confident. If they get a book deal, it's another notch. A bigger book deal, better notch. But guess what the problem with that is? Let's say your book sales tank and you are off the shelf in three months. You are absolutely destroyed, because all your worth and confidence was tied up in that."

To read Maggie Stiefvater's full post and get the complete background about how she feels as a NYT bestseller click here.

She also points out that there is a quote, and she's unsure of it's origin, but it makes me feel so good inside that I wish I could afford to write full time. I believe this is her summary of the quote: "You never learn to write books, you only learn to write the book you're currently writing."

And her personal quote which I will paint on my ceiling to see every day of my life: "I unfortunately seem to swing between THIS IS MY WORST BOOK YET and THIS IS THE BEST BOOK EVER! Back and forth. I'm a highly balanced person."

And currently, I am working on a trilogy. I have 95% of the first book's first draft completed, 20% (rough estimate) of the first draft of the second, and 5% of the first draft of the 3rd book stated. I don't want to make the mistake of not planning the whole trilogy out before leaping into publishing because then it ends up like The Vernore Gene - unsure of how to resolve all the open-ended issues.

My problem with the third book is the love triangle I've started within the first two books. I, myself, love both guys and I can't decide between them, therefore neither can my protagonist. I've made pros and cons lists, personality trait lists, and considered making polls for outsiders to choose which traits are more highly praised in a significant other. I'm leaning towards one guy in the story now, but what if I end up breaking my own heart over him?

It'll be the BEST trilogy and the WORST trilogy ever.

You Could Be A WINNER!

Okay, so as of late. I've been pumping out my creative/artistic side that goes hand in hand with my BA in Fine Art and Design. I promised my sister in Ohio that I would make her invitations for her wedding in September. I've procrastinated a little, I won't lie. Though today, I got a lot done. Soon I can say, "Here, sugar-pie, is one thing you do not have to worry about." I made my own for my wedding two years ago and goodness, I wished I had cut the guest list. The photo of the invitation is not an invite to everyone. You have to actually receive one in the mail.

As for my writing, I'm not going to be so hard on myself (If I can help it). I also have promised my own personal giveaway (aside from the soon-to-be-determined Goodreads giveaway) on facebook. I'd like to boost my Fan-age and I'm offering two copies of Broken Light to my first 100 Fans. In other words, from the first group of 50, one lucky, random, non-relative will win a copy. From the second 50 (Totaling 100) another random person will win a copy.

Now for a giveaway for The Vernore Gene. I have one copy to giveaway for a fan from this blog. So if you'd like to win, follow this blog. If you'd like to have a chance at both... I think you get the idea here. It's not necessary to follow my individual book blogs. I just made those so I could make clear the hardships and fun that surround the given book.

So tell one and all about the giveaways and how I'm increasing my Fan-age. I'm picking and choosing so be honest and I'll be nice. :) The Facebook contest/drawing ends when a number is met so for blogspot and Goodreads the combined total of 50 will be the marker for the end.

Too Hard On Myself

I've decided to be a little more serious about my life as a writer. I don't know where I'm heading and I'm so afraid of rejection right now that I use the copout of being my own boss and not having to answer to publishers as my reason for self-publishing. The reality is that I just don't know what I'm doing. I write to write and I like my train of thought and how the people I've created live out their lives. Of course, this kinda makes me like God because I decide who lives and dies, where they go and what they say. (That's enough narcissism.)

I keep telling myself that I should join a critique group and submit my manuscripts to publishers or find an agent. I wish I had someone to do all that on my behalf. I feel quite insignificant when I look at the success of other writers. I know what my problem is. I was born in the wrong time period. This is the age of instant gratification and I want answers now. I want hard work done and over with so I can be awesome now and not later. I don't write for money and I hate the prices that are associated with POD's but at least I can say that only I have rights to my work.

Now that I've made myself all depressed over my lack of research and hard work, I'll go write because that makes me feel better.

P.S. I wanted to discuss Fans on facebook and giving away free copies of Broken Light. Guess I'll do it later...

Wishing My Life Away

Here's the skinny.

Broken Light's second edition will be released when I'm ready. Jeez, how much more obscure can I be? The reason, though, for the second edition is due to distribution. I can't list the book on sites without an ISBN. The cut size on it currently doesn't allow for an ISBN. Don't ask me why this is. I have no idea. And I agree, it's stupid. It won't take me long to get Broken Light reformatted it's making room in my head to do so that's holding me up.

Which brings me to what I'm currently working on. I know a lot of you want to know what's going to happen next in The Vernore Gene and I'm trying to fix all the confusion I've started in my head. I'm sorry for this. I didn't plan it well and now I'm kicking myself for it. The other reason for not working on it as much as I should be is because I have another story in my head. This one could end up being a trilogy too. Mostly because it's so long. I've got it completely outlined and have almost what I call Book 1 complete as my mind creates scenes and complications for my main characters later on in what could be Books 2 and 3. More to come on that later.

I also have my collaboration on ghostwriting a memoir. I have ideas planned out for it, a lot of research to do, and feedback to get from the woman who asked me to do this. The hardest part is figuring out the point of view (POV) and making sure I don't offend anyone in the family for the way I think they should be portrayed. The woman lived an amazing life and I don't want to ruin it with too much fiction for the parts I don't know about. Maybe those parts aren't as important as I want them to be.

On another note, I do more than just write 24 hours a day. Although, I'd like to do just that. Only problem is the hand cramps. Anyway, I also have my sister's wedding invitations to finish up within the next month in a half. In case you didn't read the About Me profile in the sidebar, I majored in Fine Art and therefore like hands-on arts and crafts. I sculpt a lot too and try to cut back on the video games. Writing fills up most of my time at home and I should thank my husband more often for taking care of our two dogs and making dinner so often. Thank you, elephant!

So instead of giving into the demand of the sequel to The Vernore Gene I am doing tens of thousands of other things in my head. (And I just came up with a possible story this morning by mistake. I had intended to give my mind a rest. Shh!)

I also haven't forgotten about The Lyon's Key and the work that still requires. No rush though. I also like to make Playlist's for my books. I'm working on one that's helping me to write the current new trilogy and one for Broken Light. All this thinking is making me want my vacation in July to come faster than it is. I know, I know. Don't wish my life away.